Deb_Inside

My Grandmother was a Genius

My Grandmother Laura Rothacker passed when I was 4 years, old back in 1962.  

She lives ON.   She was a genius in that she dated and added her name to EVERYTHING !!!

These were the days before Sharpies, so Grandma wrote on items with a pencil and covered it with clear nail polish to preserve the name and date.

I have carried on that tradition.  

Below is a photo of a Christmas ornament that my Dad gave to Vinny in 1987.
Vin would have been 3 that Christmas.    I took a small piece of paper,
wrote out the tag, and covered it with Scotch tape.  :)    23 years ago !!!

Once the ornament is on the tree, you don't see that little tag.

I've tried to do this with all ornaments that were given to my kids, and I've
tried to do this with all ornaments I've given to others.

At the end of this Christmas season when I take down our tree,
it's past time to put the kids ornaments aside for each of them.  

Please consider doing this, and you can be assured to send a bit of yourself
into the future. 
I know I have spoken of this before, but it's such a treasure to know the dates
of items and who they belonged to or who the gifts came from.   :)

  

 

Tone

Stop right now, and grab a post it note, or an index card
Or some piece of paper. On that paper write the word – tone

 

Okay….. you read that line and thought… ‘I’ll do it later’.

No……. please DO IT NOW.    Smile

Have you ever walked around a grocery store and you keep meeting the same person in every isle ? This happened to me last week as my son and I were out shopping. I would turn the corner and there was this family of 4.
A father, mother and 2 girls. I would guess the children’s ages to have been  about 12 and 10.  The family might not have stayed with me over these several days since I kept running into them in the isles
had it not been for the negative, hostile and derogatory tones in which the parents were speaking to one another.....and now they haunt me.

If I had the ability to secretly video tape this family those adults might
be shocked at seeing and hearing themselves in the manner in which
they behaved.

Tone is the use of pitch in language to distinguish lexical or
grammatical meaning— that is, to distinguish or inflect words.

~ Be Aware of your tone ~

As a parent, I have used the one word reminder – tone – many times
over to my children. 

It’s really quite amazing, but we would never think of speaking to a
stranger in just quite the ‘tone’ that we flip off to those nearest
and dearest to us.

So…….. please go now and post the word tone someplace around
your home as a reminder for yourself.

Split Second Change of Emotion

Kevin is our youngest child.   He will be 12 this summer.
He arrived as an old soul.    Not even minutes old in his
Daddy's arms, he was quiet as a mouse and literally
studying the features on his Dad's face. 
I commented to Michael right away about how intently
he was looking at Michael's features, in a slow deliberate
motion.

I usually say that NOTHING this child does surprises me.
But......... I was surprised last week.     Did I just say surprised,
a better word would be SHOCKED.   

It was Thursday of last week and I had walked in Kevin's
room to put some clothes away.   As I turned to walk out
of the room, I noticed he had written on his wall.....

I SUCKED AIR !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!    Michael just painted Kevin's room
about 6 months ago. 

In a SPLIT SECOND.....   I went from SHOCK....  to Awwwwwwww



I went downstairs, grabbed my camera and paper towels
and cleaning solution.   Castrol Super Clean - dissolves
grease on contact AND a little elbow grease and the
message was gone from his wall.....
But not from my heart.   

It's every parent's dream to be a 'hero' to your child. 
 
Kevin and I had a conversation about the 'artwork'.
I told him although the message was quite special to me,
it was NOT appropriate to express himself  in
such a way on the wall of his bedroom, but I would prefer
he used paper, which he has all over the place because he
is quite artistic.    

What a balance it all is being a parent. !!!    

A Gem From My 11 Year Old Kevin

Kevin has the day off today due to teacher's meetings
and he just turned to me and said.......

"Mom, you have to pay taxes when you work, right?"

I said..........  "Yes"

Then he said...............

"You and Dad will be paying my taxes, right?"

I said....................

"NO"....  "When you work they take the taxes out of your pay"

He said...........

"Ohhhhhhhhhhh"

~* Letting Go *~

The following is a post I had made to some military friends in
March of 2003.    Wow... nearly 5 years ago.      

~* Letting Go *~

Sitting at your computer...

RIGHT NOW, take both of your hands.
Turn them palms up, and make tight fists.
HOLD THOSE FISTS TIGHT.... TIGHTER !!!!!

KEEP HOLDING....

Your see your finger tips turning white....
You are feeling a painful feeling in your hands,
and the pain is now even being felt in the
muscles up your arms....   Keep holding,
your finger nails might even be digging into the
palms of your hands.

NOW ------->      ~* LET GO *~

Slowly open your hands....
Your fingers unravel as you extend and stretch them.

~* take a deep breath *~ and REALLY feel the letting GO.
Relax your shoulders and let go a little more,
a few more deep breaths.
Looking at your open hands, palms up
envision the letting go.....
See the built up 'THINGS'
(garbage - crap - anger - frustration - guilt - hurt )
All just running out of your finger tips.........

That is   ~* Letting GO *~

You can use this exercise MANY times
in a day to remind yourself to let go.
As you start out, you might have to physically
grip your hands, after awhile you can mentally
do the letting go.

I made up this ~* Letting Go *~ sometime within
the past few months while helping my
daughter Nicole through a difficult time.
She would stop in to see me, and in talking
to me of her life issues, I could see the
emotion and crap just building up inside of her.
She was like a tightly corked bottle ....
under pressure that at any second was ready
to explode.
One day as I was talking to her, I had my hands
extended palms up, raising them up and down
and saying....

"Honey, you just have to let this go" !!!!!!!!!!!!
At that moment... it came to me to show her
through my hands.... what she was doing to herself
IN HOLDING IT ALL INSIDE eating away at her
just like the pain you felt in the tight fist.
That was the ~*birthday*~ of ~* LETTING GO*~.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

This came back to me yesterday when my daughter (age 25) was
talking to me and telling me how she had shared to a
friend that they needed to let something go.....
She even used the hands in a fist to illustrate  ~*Letting Go*~

That....... is parental pay dirt.  !!!

Some of My Kids - Christmas Eve

Kevin - Nicole - Vinny

I say... 'Some of my kids', because my 'daughter from another
Mother' - Kerri was not with us, and Vince's wife Dana, my
Daughter in law stayed in Texas for the holiday to be with her family.   

Holiday Memories of Yesteryear

Two nights ago, I was out driving and flipped on the radio.

It was set to a station that is all holiday music.
 

I heard him, Burl Ives singing Holly Jolly Christmas….

INSTANTLY… it was December of 1989…...

My 2 children were clamoring…….

“When will it be on”?
 

“How soon is 20 minutes”?

7 year old Nicole and 5 year old Vincent were excitedly anticipating

the TV broadcast of ………  Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer.

My eyes filled with tears and a part of me longed for those children

of yesteryear.    But alas…. that was then.   I do have Kevin who is

11 years old, and I know how in a heartbeat time moves on.
   

Burl Icle Ivanhoe Ives passed away in April of 1995 at the age of 85.

His distictive voice was actually a ghost from my own childhood. 

The Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer debuted on TV in December of 1964.

At that time I was 6 years old, but it’s always felt like the annimated

show has been a part of my life.
 

Thank you Mr Ives, Ummm I mean Sam the Snowman,

for the memories of generations of children…. even grown ones who

remember when.
 

IF you don’t have Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer on DVD,

you can catch it here is the USA   on………..………….

Monday Dec 3 – 9 pm Eastern time    The Family Channel

Tuesday Dec 4 – 8 pm Eastern time   CBS

A couple of You Tube videos of Mr Ives singing
on the animated Rudolph Show ……

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ki1JRTUeawg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6aNUm1ePMDs

Mr Ives talks about his role as Sam……..

"When I lent my voice to Sam the snowman back in 1964, 1 had no idea
that the special would air on network television every year since then.
When I tour across the country, I am recognized as Sam by everyone from
the airline stewardesses down to the smallest of children.
The popularity of that special overshadows my Oscar performance in
The Big Country and my performance as ‘Big Daddy’ in Cat On A Hot Tin Roof" put together."

"I loved that special, so much that we have had wood figures of the Rudolph
characters made and we decorate our front lawn with them every Christmas.
The role of Sam came natural to me because I like singing to children
because they like good songs and they are interested in some of the
same things I am, like frogs, flies and bees. I worked on several projects
with Rankin/Bass over the years ........and enjoyed making them all,
but Rudolph is still the most popular. ‘Silver and Gold’ and ‘Holly Jolly Christmas’
are two of my favorite and most requested songs.
I am grateful to have been a part of that special."

http://www.burlives.com/Fun.htm

Rudolph that Amazing Reindeer

by Stanley Frankel

About half way down the page at this link you will find this fascinating story.
It’s about Robert May the author of the Rudolph story.
Reprinted from Good Housekeeping Magazine.

http://www.frankel-y.com/append.htm

Today..... She Leaves

 

One year ago today my son Vince and Dana were married.
This is a picture of them right after their 'I do's'.
They were married in the US Virgin Islands.

Today, Dana will leave for a tour in Iraq.
She will return stateside in a few months,
and Vince will be stateside from Korea in
October of this year.

Please keep ALL of our military in your prayers.

xo xo
Deb
Proud Air Force Mom & Air Force Mother in law

PS.... they both had a little too much of
that Southern sun.

"The Miracle of Mindfulness"

This was a post I made on an Air Force Parents
support site back in early 2003.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"The Miracle of Mindfulness"

This is no magic wand that we can wave to disperse STRESS
from our lives. If that were the case, I'd be your fairy godmother
and take it ALL AWAY. :) Bippiti -- boppiti -- BOOP

But what I can do is offer some words to you in hopes that
IF you embrace them and the precepts, you will find
moments of peace.

Many of us in these times turn to God in prayer.
'Dear God, help me to process this' 'Amen'
I have no doubt that GOD does help us in a BIG WAY,
but we are responsible for the MOMENTS of our lives.

The Miracle of Mindfulness,
by Thich Nhat Hanh was a very important book
in my life journey.
I would like to present this to you as a quickie version of the
concepts of mindfulness, but for further understanding I highly
recommend
you pick up a copy of this book for yourself.

Answer this question with ALL honesty ....
How many times have you been behind the wheel of your
car, driving down the street and you pass under a traffic light.
Almost immediately you say...
"Ohhh MY GOSH" ... "Was that a green light or a red light" ???
IF you answer honestly, I think you might say...
"WOW", I have no idea what color that light was."

The reason is.... a loss of momentary mindfulness. !!!
You were 100 million miles away.
It happens ALL the time, many times in a day.

Have you seen the movie the Karate Kid ?
Mr Miyagi, the wise teacher has Daniel, the kid, wax the car.
Over and over he says....
"Wax on, Wax off". The purpose of that 'mantra' is to keep
ones mind on the task at hand.

Mindfulness is about developing a continuous awareness of all the
tasks
we do and the thoughts we have during the course of a day.
The mindfulness comes in when your awareness is held to the moment
of each task you are doing.

In the morning when you make your coffee, and have your breakfast,
you hold your mind to the task you are doing.
It is as IF you are doing this task for the very first time.
Actually feeling the items you are touching and processing
everything in just that moment.
All through the day, paying direct attention to what you are doing.

I explained the ideas of mindfulness to my coworkers.
So many times I when I was at work my mind wandered away.
I was house cleaning, grocery shopping, DOING all the things
in my mind that needed to be done in the future.
It's no wonder you get home from work and just don't feel\
like doing some tasks. How many times did you do them
over and over in your mind without even noticing where
your thoughts were.
There is a huge difference between planning out mentally what
you are going to do, and allowing your mind to aimlessly wander
off and do those things.

We have all said, "I'll just keep myself busy and that will get me
through this time." It will get you through, but if you are not
aware, even when you are busy your mind will be racing along
to other things. If, you do not hold your attention to the moment.

In ending I would like to say.....
You will NOT read my posting here one time and have
a full and complete command of mindfulness.
It will take your attention and practice.
Look how many years your mind has been
on vacation. Ha, no wonder it's going to take some time
to really embrace this into a daily practice.

When I first started to 'practice' mindfulness,
I made myself small cards that said.....
"Wax on Wax off" "breath in breath out".

I had one at work, one on the kitchen frig, one in my car.
These were reminders to myself to be mindful of the moment.
If I caught my mind wandering away, I repeated those
lines to myself I could actually feel my whole body relax.
I then returned physically and mentally to the moment, experiencing
totally just what I was doing at the time.

I think I am going to print out a copy of this for Vinny.
These would be great words of wisdom to send to him. !!!
Of course he has heard me speak of this, but I am not so sure
that it is a part of him.

(by the way... The Karate Kid movie made it's debut in 1984,
just like my Vinny)

My Teachers

Twenty five years ago last month, my first child Nicole arrived.

Two years and six months after Nicole, my second child, Vincent arrived.

Twelve years and five months after Nicole, my son Kevin was born.

At the age of 38, and by choice, I was a Mommy again.

In those early years of parenting, I had no clue as to what I know now.

For as much as I think I have been and am a teacher to them,

I have come to know that they indeed have arrived to TEACH ME !

For this I have Kevin to thank.   He has opened my eyes and

enlightened me in ways I was never able to see or even

comprehend 25 years ago.

So, to you young parents, observe the lessons of your little ones,

and know they are your teachers.

Remember also to mirror back to them the character that you

would choose for them.

Your actions, repeated over time, will have a great influence.

Enjoy the moments and  ~ learn ~ 

……..  time moves so quickly forward. !

~What My Children Need To Know~

Children:

There is no particular order to this list.

Just know that ALL are things that

define me.   Things that I have tried

to live.   :) 

Love

Mama

The Golden Rule

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

You can not control another’s actions,

you can only control your re-action.

Everything in my life that has happened to me

had to happen in just the way it did, for me

to be the person I am today. 
D. Estep

“You must be the change you want to see in the world. “
Mahatma Gandhi
(1869 - 1948)

“Have NO DOUBT”
Expressed to me by Mel when I told her
that I had doubts about sharing my
thoughts with others.
Melanie Smith – 2006

“MAKE IT GREAT”
Phil Gerbyshak

“How are your fears preventing your
forward progress” ?

Dr. Linda McGraw 1994

“I always knew I was different,
but I did not always realize that different was GOOD”
D. Estep

This above all: to thine ownself be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Lord Polonius to his son Laertes
William Shakespeare – Hamlet Act 1 Scene 3

Somewhere Over The Pacific Ocean

Right about now, my 22 year old Air Force son Vince
is someplace over the Pacific Ocean.   He's headed
for South Korea and a years tour there.

His 22 year old wife Dana (Michelle) is stateside
at the base that the 2 of them were stationed at
together.

A year away from someone you love is no easy
thing to go through, but ohhhh so many have
done this very same thing, but been stationed in
places far worse than S. Korea.

I also know that my daughter-in-law is an
amazing young woman.   She will handle
this year apart with strength and grace. !!!!!!

I am not asking anyone to feel sorry for my
kids, this is a volunteer military force we have
serving our country.   I only ask that from time
to time stop and think about them.    Not only
my son and his wife, but ALL our our military
who are serving.

Send Troops an Online Message of Support

THANKS...

Deb

Proud AF Mom and AF Mother in Law

How to Grow A Life Long Learner

Over at Rosa Says Talking Story with

Say Leadership Coaching all month

27 authors are posting articles about learning:

Joyful, Jubilant, Lifelong Learning

http://www.sayleadershipcoaching.com/talkingstory/

This started me thinking just where does

this desire to learn come from ? 

Children are inquisitive by nature.  Spend any

amount of time with a 4 or 5 year old and

you will know just what I am talking about.

When they ask questions answer

as honestly as you can.   Offer just

a little something more that goes

beyond the original question and you

are teaching them how to construct their

own puzzle of learning.

If you don’t know the answer, grab some

age appropriate book and find out together.

The ~ beauty ~ of this approach is that you

teach them that you really don’t know

everything, but you put value and

importance on learning yourself.

Children are like tiny little sponges,

they are very curious by nature.

When you answer their questions

or seek out answers together you are

teaching them that they are worth

your time.    You also fertilize and

foster a mindset that just wants to

know more and more.

Catch them young and nurture that seed
of learning, and you set up your child
to be a life long learner.

Mother and Child Connection

Drop down and read  July 18th - yesterdays post,
before you go and read this one........  :)

I've had my blog site for over a year now.   I have not always
been a daily 'blogger'.     I knew it had been sometimes since
my last post.   It was late morning yesterday and I was
contemplating a topic to write about.    The Christmas thing
just popped into my head and I thought.....
hmmmm good topic.  :)

It's taken me many years to convince my Mom that she and
I share a telepathic communication.   I also believe that the
Mother child mental bond is one of the strongest.

My Mom is retired and has a social life with a circle of friends.
They do Senior Center activities AND bingo.   She emailed me
last night after 9:30 pm.....
I really should not have been overly shocked when I read her
email last night, but my jaw dropped and I just went..........   WOW !!!

"Tomorrow I'm going to the City Park for a picnic in the
park.  This is with the Sr. Center. 
I have to take a dessert. 
We had a Potluck today at the Sr. Center it was
Christmas in July."

Why Can’t It be Christmas Every Day ?

Why Can’t It be Christmas Every Day ?

This was a question my son Kevin asked me

this year in early January.

Now, understand at age 9 his question had more to do

with the gifts than anything else.  Of course he certainly

was not thinking about giving gifts, but being on

the receiving end of gifts.

I explained to him, as best I could about the season

and also mentioned that we celebrated his birthday

once a year.   I also told him about the ~Spirit of

Christmas~ and that it was something he could

hold in his heart all through the year.

Now just because he is 9, don’t think for a moment

that my speaking to him of the ~Spirit of Christmas~

was entirely lost on him.   

I view it as the laying of a foundation.

Still, on that day and many days since his question

has stayed with me.   

Many before me have thought of keeping Christmas

all through the year.   

To quote Charles Dickens character Mr. Scrooge

from the 1843 writing of A Christmas Carol……….

"I will honour Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.

I will live in the Past, the Present, and the Future.

The Spirits of all Three shall strive within me.

I will not shut out the lessons that they teach.”

There is a magic to the ‘season of Christmas’.

I honestly DO try and keep that magic alive

all through the year.    I don’t have the resources

to lavish monetary type gifts, or gifts of Earthy value,

but I, and each and every one of you have the ability to

keep alive the Christmas spirit. 

For me the ~Spirit of Christmas~ means human kindness.

I will forever be known to some Airmen as the Air Force

Mom who sent me a Christmas card, but not one they

received at Christmas time. 

I send Christmas cards all through the year. 

Admittedly it started out when I was thinking of

sending a note of encouragement and I wanted

my note card to have a certain impact.   

You certainly would be hard pressed to forget a

Christmas card in June OR the sender of such card.

I hope today you will find some way to spread

some Christmas cheer and also remember to

keep it all through the year.

A Mom's Favorite Flowers

A Mom's Favorite Flowers

Kevin picked these for me on May 1, 2005

(click on the picture to see it larger)

Out With The Yuck - Yucks

My youngest child, Kevin is now 8 years old and in second grade.   In 2002 he
started kindergarten.   He is a lively outgoing sort who was fearless of starting  school.   
He immediately loved the teacher and interacting with other kids.
During the fall of that year every night as I was tucking him into bed he would
recount to me his entire day at school.    Most times everything was good, but
if some part of his day had not gone good, he would flare up just telling me
all about it.    After a few weeks of this I got to thinking that it just was not good for him to be taking this all with him into the night.

I continued to let him tell me of his day, and after he was done I said to him,
'Take a deep breath and everything that just did not go your way, let it go.
Picture all of your fingers like a hose.    Think of a hose turned on full blast
with the water running out as it's laying in the driveway.   Take another deep
breath and let ALL of the YUCK - YUCKS just run out your fingers.
Take another deep breath and tell yourself.... tomorrow is another day.

For well over 2 years this has been a night time ritual for Kevin.   All I have to say now is, 'out with the yuck - yucks', he takes a deep breath and away it all goes.

Sleep can be a time of rejuvenation but not if the yucky parts of your day
go right along with you into the night time.
I have no doubt that this magical childhood meditation will stay with my son
for many years to come.

Now IF I could only get his corporate, fortune 500, manager Daddy to
grasp this concept I'm certain my hubby would have 'Sweet Dreams'.   :)